The only thing that kept me afloat today was the constant playback of the night before as Carmellow, Little Engine and I ran around a playground at 3/4am swinging, laughing and talking in British accents for today was anything but easy on me... really hard and to be completely honest when days like this happen even the sun can't bring in the light... I tried to get out of my house and be social but in going to brunch i couldn't even get that right because after waiting for who knows how long, I left breakfastless and unsatisfied... not to mention the damn time change and feeling like I got hit by a truck and the cloud that I’m in even though I try to wear a mask so everyone looking in thinks that my life is all fun fabulous!...
Anyway, I was suppose to have a big shoot, which I would have loved in my portfolio but in with being a freelancer nothing is guaranteed, a job can be taken away just as fast as it is given to you which is why we write contracts but when things don’t get finalized or things don’t get taken care of face to face my normal nonrefundable fees can't be applied even though they cancelled at 2am two days before the shoot saying someone wanted to do it for free as a gift... Leaving me with my Sunday open and pockets empty... Seriously, mess with me and my money... Karma, Karma, Karma... I don’t get it... I am more than disappointed because it just shows how people will waste your time and take the easier route being that they want to save money and don't care about their word... Because trust me I would have loved to cancel shoots or other events so I could do something else but my ethic and work morals kicked in and honestly I wish I didn't have them because I would have a lot more cool experiences... I swear karma... WTF, kicking in when you do... but then again it will never kick in, in the moments we want it to...
So... I got lost and walked the aisles of Walmart and then stared at the canvas that holds a darkness over me and started to paint trying to find a light in the darkness...
Today:
Song: Asa - The Way I Feel
Quote of the Day: “Keep smiling and one day life will get tired of upsetting you.”
Fav Food Consumed Today: Caesar Wrap
Craving: Egg Scramble w/ Spinach and Portabellas
Drinking: Water w/ Lemon
Random Fact: We all get tired... We all get hurt... We all get overwhelmed and trying to find balance can be a puzzle in itself... So, we must remember when the sunrises it is a new day
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